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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2016 18:51:40 GMT -5
The day, despite its chill, had been giving me a warm sense of possibility. This woman was pleasant. Perhaps, with time, the two of us could be friends. In truth, it was more than I had been hoping for. I feel a sense of shock as her arm takes mine, unbidden.
The guard nodded to me, then. "Good day." he spoke.
"Can you direct us to the markets?" I ask.
The guard nodded, and gestured. His directions were succinct, and without colour. A serious man whose primary concern was his duty. I found that quite likeable.
I took his directions, leading Astris in tow. We found ourselves in a general market in short order. There was some old grey and brown snow nestled snugly against the stone and wood buildings here, kicked clear of the packed dirt or the stone walks. Few other pedestrians conducted paths through the market at this hour and temperature. The world, much like the year was getting old. There was perhaps a feeling of anticipation for the newness of the next year. War, famine, banditry and otherwise horrible happenings were plaguing the world.
For me, my father's tyranny had bloomed in this year. His will hounded me. Perhaps for Astris, this meeting loomed similarly. She certainly seemed... relaxed, however. During the wanderings, I spotted a small bench. It seemed relatively free of snow. I took to it, nearly sitting before I recalled my manners.
"Would you care to sit?" I asked, gesturing with my free arm.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2016 20:38:43 GMT -5
Astris took in the market view with some disappointment. She had hoped that even with the afternoon hour and cold there would have been more to distract her from the inevitability of this week.
She looked at Ikram when he spoke. "Oh yes, of course, thank you." She surveyed the slightly damp bench, and decided there was no help for it as she sat, looking around in the crisp air.
Her eyes track a young woman with a small child in tow, hurrying through the market to be well on their way somewhere warm. Children. That is not a topic that she has any understanding of.
"Do you even want to be married?" She asks abruptly, looking back at Ikram with a slightly furrowed brow, her eyes somewhat searching. Surely she can't be the only one who feels this way. Ikram certainly seems like a fine gentleman, and perhaps someone she would call friend. But surely he cannot be happy in this arrangement, having never met her before either. "Doesn't this feel sudden to you?"
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Post by Deleted on Feb 26, 2016 20:45:47 GMT -5
I blink at the abruptness of the question. "I... uhm, I don't know. I'm sure that it would seem... sudden to you, but I do think that it will be the best. For our two families. And I also think that if, which is to say, if you and I wish to have a good marriage—er, relationship, then we would have to both want to have one."
I have no idea where those words came from, nor was I aware as I was saying how utterly stupid they'd sounded. Death would be preferable to the silence sure to come. I sit.
"But, it's clear that you are not looking forward to this. Maybe... maybe if you tell me your fears, we can speak about them. Try to put some of them to rest." I offer. She's probably going to laugh at me, or flee the scene. One of the two.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2016 14:07:56 GMT -5
Well. That was unexpected. Her eyebrows raise slightly. She hadn't truly expected him to be as forthright as she was in that moment. Astris stared somewhat at his earnest face, taken aback and attempting to gather her thoughts.
"Well, I..." She takes a breath and releases it. "You are correct. This marriage has been a topic of dread for me for the past year. I had even attempted to write to you, in an attempt to discuss this matter more fully, and see where your own feelings on the matter might have been." She looked at her hands in her lap, folded together. "Your father was swift to reply and inform me of my lapse in propriety."
You're babbling. She looks back up at him and squares her shoulders. "But that's entirely besides the point. The point is, I had been under the impression for most of my formative years that I would not be made to wed anyone that.." I couldn't trust with my secrets "..was not of my choosing. This must seem fairly spoiled to you."
She watches his face for his reaction, sure that she's insulted him beyond measure now. Suddenly, that prospect seems unfortunate. He is not what she'd expected, and she didn't anticipate caring what he'd think. The crisp air suddenly felt colder to her person and she wrapped her cloak closer about herself.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2016 14:19:13 GMT -5
Unbelievable. Absolutely incredulous. I was sure that she was going to laugh. Now that she's said something I find myself with the burden of needing to respond. Right, that shouldn't be a problem. I clearly know what I'm doing here. What did she say again? I clear my throat and search my mind.
"I understand that this isn't what you thought may happen. I feel that this may be what's best for both of our families. I also think that I am the one who stands to gain the most in this." I dip my head somewhat, then look up. "Ah... personally, that is. You are well learned; doubtlessly far better educated than I. You know what you want from life. I can see many reasons why you wouldn't choose me as a partner, but I want you to know that I will do everything I can to make you comfortable, and—if it were possible, happy."
I hadn't known I was so invested in this. I hadn't known that I was interested in this. After loosing the words, all I could do was look at her. Her shoulders cut out a sharp, tall and elegant silhouette. Her jaw was a gentle slope that framed her face, lovely. I longed, in that moment, to have been more eloquent so that I might properly make myself known. "If it were possible." I said, stupidly.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2016 15:03:58 GMT -5
Her eyes widen a little at his response, her cheeks starting to feel warm and not because of the cold. He's looking at me. Not through me. Not at what I gain for him, but at -me-. It was an unusual, but not unpleasant sensation.
She shifts slightly, looking back down at her lap, then out at the surroundings of the marketplace. Fat, fluffy flakes of snow drifting down off of one of the rooftops in the breeze.
"I have to admit, you were not what I anticipated." She paused, then realized how that could be taken. She looks back him, speaking quickly, trying to insert her honest earnestness in her demeanor. "That's a good thing, I mean. You willing to speak with me about this issue..and being kind, it's more than I had anticipated, to be truthful." She sighs a bit. "Yes. Our families benefit greatly from this marriage. My mother...well..nevermind her."
She smiles slightly. "You shouldn't be so hard on yourself. I highly doubt you are uneducated, we just simply have different fields of study. I..would like to be your friend. I do not want this to be a marriage of strangers."
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2016 16:11:54 GMT -5
I don't want to be this person's stranger, I thought. I nodded in agreement. Whether or not this was good for our families, the prospect had become much more attractive upon meeting my betrothed. I had thought the woman my father would choose would be stuffy and concerned to the death of being civilized and maintaining proper fashion and care little for the important things ongoing in the world. Astris does not impart that impression. She seems sensitive, cultured and while yes, she makes me feel absolutely inferior—it is in a way that makes me want to be better. Not in a way which makes me feel worthless. I wanted very much to be around her more, I knew.
"I think I would like to be your friend, Astris." My features had already softened, but I sprung now for a smile. I rarely had reason to do so. Both of us had thought that our partners would be repulsive to us. I was pleased to know that Astris was a person whose presence was pleasant. I felt that, even though she had not chosen this, that I could make her life bearable, if not pleasant as well. It was, at least, my hope.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2016 16:38:24 GMT -5
His smile is downright contagious. He doesn't seem used to it. She smiles back somewhat, feeling light in her chest for the first time in a long time. She shivers a bit as the breeze threatens to dust unwary people with snow.
"I have a confession however. I am freezing to death out here. Perhaps we should start back?" She laughs wryly, then stands. "Chances are, we may already be missed. Let us be back before they have reason to send us to our rooms without supper." It's a light and candid comment, said with a smile and a joking mannerism.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2016 16:43:17 GMT -5
My face falls, and I nod. Though without supper seems like such a light threat, it is none-the-less a good point.
I nod and say "Yes. Let's walk back. I apologize, I hadn't thought it would be so cold." Of course it's cold. Her cheeks are absolutely red from the chill. I hope she doesn't get sick. I fret.
I stand from the bench and offer my hand. The market continues to live its quiet life about us. A few people still come and go, despite the dusting and buy and sell as they had before. I wonder briefly if the markets fill out in the summer. It would be uncomfortable. I make a note that, for as long as we live in Fordeth to send attendants for shopping.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2016 18:20:29 GMT -5
Astris smiles and takes his hand. "No apology necessary. I've enjoyed the walk. And the company." Despite what I'd thought.
Truthfully, she's grateful for the warmth of his arm. He may be used to running around in the cold, but she isn't quite fond of it. Though, she doesn't mind quite -as- much right now.
"Tell me something of yourself?" She asks as they walk through the streets. "I don't mean to pry, I just wish to get to know you. What do you enjoy? I'll admit, I don't know much about the warrior's art, but I can appreciate it for what it is. Did you always know what you'd wanted to do?" The questions come a little quickfire now that she appears more comfortable.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2016 18:27:22 GMT -5
"I, uhm..." ...am terrified of this line of questioning. I shrug my shoulders nonchalantly. "There isn't much to know. I'm not a warrior. I'm unbloodied, just... trained, somewhat. As for what I enjoy? I don't know. I can't say either that I've ever known what I wanted to do with my life outside of what my father has pictured for me. One day, I may come into his wealth. Upon that day, he should be dead. Once that happens, I truly won't know what to do." I pull my lips into a tight frown.
Truly I wish she hadn't asked this question. "But I truly wish to do something great. Something far-reaching, something that matters." The words, as so often this day have, come unbidden. "I think I should like to build a home. For us. For others. To join the Court proper, as a man of my own rights. As a house." I furrow my brow. I don't say what I want to, that I wish to be free forever of the influence of my father. That would be taken poorly, no doubt.
"What do you want to do with your life?" I ask.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2016 18:50:05 GMT -5
She nods. "That..is honest. Not many men may have admitted to being unbloodied. But you have skill, and training is just that, skill in wait. It is much the same for me, I'd imagine, though much less combat involved." She chuckles.
She waits a beat, gathering her thoughts as they walk. "But, as far as what I would like to accomplish...I should like to see what I could of the world. I know that isn't..exactly what you'd want to hear from a future wife, but it's true. I don't mean...travel to exotic locales, but I would like to see what there is to see, here. To learn, explore and yes, do something that matters. And building a home is part of that. Something that no one else could snatch away. Honestly, I have come to the realization that power is the only respite from the unknown."
"In truth, I would like to be as far from my mother as possible. Which is an unkind thing to say. But you might as well know the situation up front." She keeps her eyes on the road before her, her feet keeping in step with his easy stride.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2016 18:57:15 GMT -5
I think to myself, it is a good thing she is looking at the road, for in that moment she would see my face in a state of shock. I had thought my words to sound rough as it were, but to hear her speak so openly of... of leaving her mother's providence, and gaining power for the sake of gaining power. She had put voice to my unspoken, and indeed I had thought unspeakable thoughts. Looking back on this moment, it was perhaps the first time my admiration and brief infatuation had dipped its toe into the realm of something deeper. All that—and I'd only just met this woman.
"I want to escape from under my father's thumb. He is a cruel man." I throw the words and all caution into the wind, and watch her for her reaction.
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2016 19:23:59 GMT -5
She stops and looks at him. Why does he look so concerned? Does he think I would run and tattle like a child to his father? I knew he was rude, but cruel doesn't seem a far leap.
"Then we have similar goals, it appears." She smiles slightly. She hoped that was the answer he was hoping for. But truthfully, she also started to have hope that he would be the confidante and protector that her father had spoken so of so hopefully for her.
She slides her arm through his more firmly, enjoying the wind block he made from the cold...but also..perhaps...his close proximity in a way she did not previously deem possible.
"Perhaps, together we can find the means to do what we hoped to, where we could not apart."
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Post by Deleted on Feb 29, 2016 19:35:38 GMT -5
A grin breaks out across my face. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined meeting someone I could confide so readily in. It could, perhaps, be my foolishness. It's possible that my father has arranged more than I had ever thought, and this was the set-up to some sort of hideous failure. Many things are, in fact possible, but in this moment I know more hope than I ever had in my life. I feel exultant.
"I-I agree." I stammer through my teeth. The chill was probably getting to me, although I would not admit to feeling it. I wanted to do something spontaneous and outrageous, like carry the woman but that... that would undoubtedly see me in trouble with her. Maybe a race? That's ridiculous... she's wearing skirts. To speak nothing of her inclination towards athleticism. For the interim, I settle for walking arm-in-arm with this woman who comes to revolutionise my life and change the course of my future forever.
The walk, however, is a rather abrupt one, as the villa comes back into sight.
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